By CASEY CANNON
Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now with preferred seating! Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a Certified Six Sigma Black Belt can provide.
This week in addition to the usual Fantasy Soccer notes there is an opportunity for you to help the USMNT. Keep reading to see what you can do.
Anybody predict Chivas, TFC and the New England Revolution to win? Anybody? Sometimes soccer make no sense. Good for Lame Duck Coach Chelis for grinding away in his barrel. Toronto FC continues to show the league how the game can have a more European feel by playing indoors on plastic. New England head coach Jay Heaps made a special card out of construction paper and glitter after the surprise N.E. win; however, owner Bob Kraft didn’t want to have his breakfast with Peter King interrupted. Mr. Kraft’s secretary said the card is very nice.
Gratz to this weeks SBI winner Duvall Debris with 73 points. Goppingen’s Choppa is in both the SBI league lead and the whole wide world overall lead with 169 points.
A note on formations. The dream teams from the last two weeks had 5 defenders. Forwards are sexy, but efficient defenders win leagues.
Now, onto this week’s SBI Fantasy Picks:
Take Three – Sporting Kansas City shockingly lost last week in Toronto. Head Coach Peter Vermes may discontinue tradition of waiting until halftime before passing out cans of spinach. This week SKC at home against a sputtering Chicago.
Take Three – Seattle Sounders. Sigi’s European like boys give up just .66 goals a game at their European like home, while scoring 1.5. Their young opponents only score .6 goals on the road and give up over 2 goals per game. The expected outcome is pretty clear.
Avoid – Chicago Fire. While Arne Friedrich is in Germany getting a yak’s hamstring implanted into his leg (I read that on the Internet) the defense is out of sorts. That pales in comparison to the real problem: Two games, Zero goals. The Fire will be hard pressed to find a solution on the road against SKC.
Captain – Grahm Zusi, SKC. Last week he had no goals and no assists and still ended with nine points. Back on home field Zusi is an excellent pick. He will probably be out on National team duty next week so if he isn’t on your team already don’t pick him. Odds are though he is already on your team.
Value – Amobi Okugo, Philly Union. He costs a flat 6M and is only owned by 6% of the league. He won’t replace Davis or Zusi but is a worthwhile backup. Besides, who else from Philly will be on your roster?
Overpriced – Chad Marshall, Columbus Crew. Chad’s inflated price is based on performance in the distant past. He used to be an Arial threat but hasn’t produced much in years. He and his other back line mates make enough mistakes to make shutouts the exception. Last year the Crew were a better defensive team without Marshall in the lineup. Personally I lay the blame on interim coach Robert Warzycha and his inexplicable coaching decisions.
THE THREE PLAYER MONTE
The Three-Card-Monte game has two elements, selecting three players to score goals and creating a streak of picking a captain who scores every week. The players can be otherwise awful and tossed out of the game for reprehensible fouls, the only thing that matters is scoring at least once that night – just like Freshman year of college.
- Captain: Magee, Galaxy.
- Felipe, Montreal;
- Alvaro Saborio, RSL
How We Can Help the USMNT
I am an ardent USMNT supporter. I have been to all of the 2-0 games at Crew Stadium. I still have vivid nightmares of uncalled handballs and horrible knee-tearing turnovers. Like many U.S. supporters I am excited and perplexed by Altidore’s scoring in Europe. Is the U.S. just missing that one Magic Piece to bring out our goal scoring prowess?
We need 100,000 signatures – about half of Ives’ daily readers – so please click here to help our team get that Magic Piece: Expedite the Emergency Citizenship of Federico Higuain.
Crew designated player Federico Higuaín. The man is NOT cap tied. According to Adam Jardy of the Columbus Dispatch this father of two young boys loves the States and wants to be a US citizen and play for the USMNT.
Imagine Higuaín and Juergen up all night discussing the joy of positive attacking soccer. In turns expounding and giggling over future exploits. Kindred spirits reveling in the glory of sport. Devising a plan to finally unlock the team’s potential
Think about the damage Altidore and Dempsey would do with that kind of service. Think about the attacking nous the combination of Bradley and Higuaín brings. Dream about glory next summer.
Click here to sign the petition to make Higuaín a Citizen of the United States.
That’s all for today. Come back next time for more MLS fantasy notes.
Performance last weekend:
Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters consumed – 0
Petitions started – 1
Hours lost to soccer: 12