By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now with a working computer! Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a guy with backed up spreadsheets can provide.

Sorry about last week everybody. My computer died Monday morning and I had failed to make the requisite back-ups. Yes, I know what they say about excuses: everyone but MLS Refs have to make them. Now I have my computer and my life back today so let’s to get to it.

Big Gratz to this week’s SBI winner EmptyWalis with 141 points! Damagedgoods continues to pace the SBI league and all MLS fantasy lead with 824 points.

This week, we all know, Montreal is off. Keep in mind Vancouver has a non-league mid week game. Expect Vancouver to go all out to win the Canadian championship and the historic Beaver Cup against Montreal. Goodness knows which Vancouver players see the pitch this weekend. Next week Vancouver has a buy.

Looking further ahead week 15 has half of the league on a break. The following week most of the other teams have a break. The only teams to play both those weeks are: Chicago, Columbus, DC, LA, New England, Portland and Vancouver. Note that Portland plays a double that week. While Portland has a buy week between now and then I wouldn’t drop any quality Portland players from my roster. Conversely, the Ivy Funds and Red Bulls are off BOTH those two weeks. Consider all this when reading below and making your picks.

TEAM PICKS

Take Three – Seattle Sounders. Sigi’s boys are at home against Dallas. Seattle is showing signs of life after a shocking start to their season.

Take Three – Houston. Playing at home against New England and the Revolution. Last week Houston put up four goals on DC United before losing 1-0 against SKC. Which of those two team does the Revolution most closely resemble? Expect a shutout in Texas.

Avoid – Chivas Chivas USA has an air of turmoil. The players are even forgetting the most basic rule of soccer: Keep your hands off the ball kids. With RSL coming to play in front of almost 8,000 (paying?) fans the best the Goats can hope for is a 1-1 draw. Remember Chivas Players, next one to grab a ball kid has to wear a sequin glove.

INDIVIDUAL PICKS

Captain –McInerney, Philly Union. Because I don’t expect LA to earn a shutout in either game, I can’t recommend Gonzales. McInerney has better form than McGee and that matchup against Chicago seems made for this forward to improve his 5.1 PPG average.

Value – Okugo, Philly Union. I expect more than 10 points for Okugo this week. At the comparatively low cost of 7.1M he is the best value this week and only owned by 23.7% of fantasy squads.

Overpriced: McDonald – DC United. I wonder how many fantasy managers have given up on the game already. 14% of fantasy mangers have this guy on their squad. Makes no sense. I looked to see where this guy is on my spreadsheet, he doesn’t even make it onto it. Maybe 14% of the league is related to McDonald? Anyone reading this have this guy and willing to admit it? Give us a comment.

THE THREE-PLAYER MONTE

The three player Monte game has two elements selecting three players to score goals and creating a streak of picking a captain who scores every week. The players can be awful, tossed out of the game for reprehensible fouls, and single handedly responsible for costing his team the game but like in Jeff Cunningham’s perfect world the only thing that matters is scoring one goal a game.

1. Captain: McInerny, Montreal (vs Chicago)
2. Bruin, Houston
3. Earnshaw, TFC

Tiebreak: 25

That’s all for today. Come back next time for more MLS fantasy notes.

Performance last week:

Predictions I would have gotten right if only my computer worked last week – 10
Number of players who earned more points than Zusi last week -50
Number of times I yelled for subs before the second Colorado Goal – 34