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MLS All-Stars put together worst attempt at a rap video in history

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By IVES GALARCEP

KANSAS CITY- MLS All-Star Week in Kansas City has been one of the most successful event weeks in league history, but if there is going to be an infamous aspect of this week, it will surely be the production of a rap video featuring MLS All-Stars that just might make your ears bleed.

The folks at Funny or Die put together a music video inspired by the Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle video, complete with awkward beat, a complete lack of rhythm, and rhyming “skills” that might make any hip-hop fan scream, and stands a good chance of making you laugh hysterically.

Here are Graham Zusi, Omar Gonzalez, Kyle Beckerman, Chris Wondolowski, Mike Magee and Jack McInerney in “We are Better Than The Best”, a video that will either make you laugh, or cry, or both:

47 comments
  • Dan in New York

    Ives – It’s supposed to be bad, that’s the joke. (Funny or Die is a comedy site.) I thought it was pretty funny but a little too long.

    Like

    • Ives Galarcep

      I get that, but doesn’t make it any less cringe-worthy. And yes, it was funny, but painful.

      Like

      • Chas

        This is how everyone feels about your various forced rap references on Twitter.

        Like

      • pooperscooper

        STOP! DROP!, SHUT ‘EM DOWN OPEN UP SHOP!
        OH! NO!
        THATS HOW THE RUFF RYDERS ROLL!

        like that?

        Like

      • Jake

        The original post (and headline) definitely don’t make it clear that you get this whole thing was tongue in cheek. I thought it was pretty awesome to see MLS do something like this.
        I can’t wait to see Eurosnobs pick this video up and tell us all how MLS sucks and it can’t even make good videos.
        Looks like the guys had fun. Shouldn’t Landon have been the only one wearing shades?

        Like

      • Clyde Frog

        Come on. The original post and headline were as clear as they need to be. 99.99% of people don’t need it spelled out that an MLS All-stars’ rap video is supposed to be a joke.

        Like

      • Jake

        We’ll have to agree to disagree. I thought it was misleading once I had seen the video itself. I expected an actual “attempt” at a good rap video.

        Like

      • Felix

        This is why we’ll never be elite – because of college soccer, kids aren’t in academies by 7 years old, no pro/reg and videos like this……

        Like

    • Naugles

      Great stuff. Obviously a throwback to the Chicago Bears c.1985.

      The more Low-Fi the better, IMO.

      Like

      • AII

        Very similar to what they did in The Sex Offender Shuffle video, definitely worth checking out on youtube also.

        Like

  • Brett

    Beckerman was the only one with any remote skill. It most be because of his improved performance in the Gold Cup.

    Like

    • Michael

      Beckerman did have some flow, but I really wanted to him to go dancehall stylie. ‘I am mad, mad, an’ uh wicked onna pitch.’

      Like

  • Brian

    I just appreciate the fact a group like Funny or Die would find the MLS All Star game worth attending to make a video. These little steps make it apparent the progress soccer is making in becoming part of the ‘mainstream’ culture. I’m not saying this video is groundbreaking, but another ‘win’ for soccer.

    Like

  • Gnarls

    Growing up in Portland, this was the ish around ’94, and clearly one of the many awkward athletes-trying-to-rap videos of the early-mid 90s.

    Like

    • Chance

      OMG I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT BUST A BUCKET!! Oh the memories that just rushed back.

      Like

  • Ronnie

    Wish some of the foreign guys were a part of this. Still absolutely love it.

    Like

  • 2tone

    Hilarious. Obviously some lack the understanding that it was meant to be humorous.

    Like

  • Dean Stell

    The thing that cracks me up about this is that none of those guys are old enough to really remember the Super Bowl Shuffle. The 30 year old guys were like 2-3 years old back them. Omar and Jack Mac weren’t even born yet. :) Time flies….

    Like

  • Swagg

    I loved it, Kyle best rapper of them all, Wondo worst….. But I give them all props for doing it!

    Like

  • chris

    this is incredible. beckerman hilarious. donovan and henry would have made this that much better though

    Like

  • Mike Caramba

    I’d argue that the video borrow more of its aesthetic from the Arizona Wildcats rap than the Super Bowl Shuffle.

    Like

  • Austin

    Ives took this wayyyy to literal. One of the funniest video’s I’ve seen in a while. Beckerman and Magee were hilarious.

    Like

  • Ryan

    Pretty funny. Aside from being on the pitch, is there a moment where wondolowski isn’t such a complete dork?

    Like

  • Ja Ja James

    Ives, old school like you are, you should open your next Podcast with this.

    Like

    • Eric

      Omg that is the worst ever. OJ Simpson and Marcus Allen, random! Who’s the chick?

      Like

  • Victor

    Honestly this was amazing….I am dying laughing each time I watch it…Wondo was the best just because how bad he was at it haha….So classic though

    Like

  • Michael F. SBI Mafia Original

    Not the least bit funny. Worst idea ever. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. Embarrassing. Some marketing guy needs a beat down.

    Like

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