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You Write the Caption: Matchday Edition

Good afternoon folks. Today is the big day. USA vs. Spain. In honor of the big friendly I decided to do a matchday you write the caption.

This won’t be an official edition of YWTC, so there won’t be a t-shirt given away by SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel today, but I might change my mind on that if there is enough comedy in the submissions to merit it.

Here it is, a picture of Spain manager Luis Aragones delivering a message to Fernando Torres:


Fernando, I already told you no hat-trick against the USA. You have to save some goals for the tournament.

Now it’s your turn. Let’s here some funny captions and if there are enough good ones, then I will award the funniest caption a t-shirt of the writer’s choice from Objectivo Apparel.

Fire away.


  1. Luis Aragones checking Fernando match day fitness. After checking his teeth, he is going to squeeze his balls.(Ala show dog style)

  2. Assistant: “Are you sure he’s not a machine?”

    Aragones: “Well, he certainly feels human, but when he’s out there I can’t tell.”

  3. Luis: God damn it you have pale skin, you need to put some tanning lotion on right away. Your representing Spain, you have to look beautiful and tan. (just like me)

  4. yes the smooth… I like very much, Raul too much the scruff, no can be Spain forward with shaggy dog scruff

  5. You sing this version Nando!

    “There is something in the air tonight

    The stars are bright, Fernando

    They are shining there for you and me

    For VICTORY, Fernando

    Though I never thought that we could lose

    Theres no regret

    If I had to do the same again

    I would, my friend, Fernando”

  6. Fernando, I’ve already told you. You are going to be my workhorse throughout the Euro’s…so keep eating the oats out of my hands. You need your strength!

  7. You’re a Pisces you say? I’m sorry, Fernando, that doesn’t fit in with my tactics. You’ll have to come out.

  8. You know all those goals you’ve been scoring in the Premier League…Why haven’t you been doing that for the National Team?!

  9. No, Fernando, your teeth don’t look as bad as Sven-Goran Eriksson’s. Now get back on the field and stop worrying about it.

  10. “Look at me, Look at me, Loot at me…. You are SO prettier than Beckham, don’t even listen to what anyone says.”

  11. Wipe your tears Fernando, there is nothing you can do. This is our plight: no matter how great we will look against the US, we will end up losing against France… WE’RE ALWAYS OUSTED BY FRANCE !!!!

  12. No, no. You are playing great! But your hair…I can’t coach your f***ing hair, Torres. Please just wash it or something.

  13. Why yes Fernando, your lymph nodes do feel swollen. I fear it maybe the onset of “Spain can’t get past the quarterfinals of a major tournament-itis”

  14. Sorry, but this is too easy…

    Attempt No. 3:

    Aragones: “I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”


    “I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”


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