Good afternoon folks. Today is the big day. USA vs. Spain. In honor of the big friendly I decided to do a matchday you write the caption.
This won’t be an official edition of YWTC, so there won’t be a t-shirt given away by SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel today, but I might change my mind on that if there is enough comedy in the submissions to merit it.
Here it is, a picture of Spain manager Luis Aragones delivering a message to Fernando Torres:
Fernando, I already told you no hat-trick against the USA. You have to save some goals for the tournament.
Now it’s your turn. Let’s here some funny captions and if there are enough good ones, then I will award the funniest caption a t-shirt of the writer’s choice from Objectivo Apparel.
Fire away.
Spit out the gum! Use that nervous energy to run at the Americans.
Luis Aragones checking Fernando match day fitness. After checking his teeth, he is going to squeeze his balls.(Ala show dog style)
Assistant: “Are you sure he’s not a machine?”
Aragones: “Well, he certainly feels human, but when he’s out there I can’t tell.”
Aragones: Are you Torres or Ramos?
Assistant Coach: Just touch his face.
Luis: God damn it you have pale skin, you need to put some tanning lotion on right away. Your representing Spain, you have to look beautiful and tan. (just like me)
Hey boy, you got a pretty mouth.
or rather
Oye niño, tu tienes una boca bonita
yes the smooth… I like very much, Raul too much the scruff, no can be Spain forward with shaggy dog scruff
LUIS ARAGONES: *whimpering* But Fernando . . . age is only a number!
You sing this version Nando!
“There is something in the air tonight
The stars are bright, Fernando
They are shining there for you and me
For VICTORY, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando”
No Fernando, I’m not doubling as the physio, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Fernando, I’ve already told you. You are going to be my workhorse throughout the Euro’s…so keep eating the oats out of my hands. You need your strength!
Awe bubbleh!! Look at that little poonim!
Buck up little campista maybe next year you’ll score more goals than ronaldo
You’re a Pisces you say? I’m sorry, Fernando, that doesn’t fit in with my tactics. You’ll have to come out.
“Can you hear the drums Fernando?
I remember long ago another starry night like this…”
You know all those goals you’ve been scoring in the Premier League…Why haven’t you been doing that for the National Team?!
Fernando, we’ll never win FIFA’s Fair Play award if you make fun of the USA’s lack of forward depth by sporting Brian McBride’s old haircut.
Cheer up!… Now that you’re here you don’t have to worry about standing next to Crouch at the urinal.
Aragones: “I can show you the world…shining, shimmering, splendid…”
Oh my God, it’s Hanson! I -err, my daughter- loved Mmmbop.
“Fernando, I am so happy you’re not black.”
Oh come on, someone had to say it.
it’s okay, bubbela, you can’t do it all by yourself!
There was something in the air that night – the stars were bright, Fernando
No, Fernando, your teeth don’t look as bad as Sven-Goran Eriksson’s. Now get back on the field and stop worrying about it.
“Look at me, Look at me, Loot at me…. You are SO prettier than Beckham, don’t even listen to what anyone says.”
Wipe your tears Fernando, there is nothing you can do. This is our plight: no matter how great we will look against the US, we will end up losing against France… WE’RE ALWAYS OUSTED BY FRANCE !!!!
Did you wash behind your ears? Let me check.
No, no. You are playing great! But your hair…I can’t coach your f***ing hair, Torres. Please just wash it or something.
Why yes Fernando, your lymph nodes do feel swollen. I fear it maybe the onset of “Spain can’t get past the quarterfinals of a major tournament-itis”
OK, last one…
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
Sorry, but this is too easy…
Attempt No. 3:
Aragones: “I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”
OR
“I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”