Photo by ISIphotos.com

By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now with the latest in nanotech! Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a man who is retiring from the constant grind of coaching in the U-7 division can provide. I am writing this well before the official injury reports come out, so don't be grumpy if I tell you to pick a hurt player. For information on MLS Fantasy Football go to http://fantasy.mlsnet.com/.

A couple quick notes, before the recommendations for the week.

• In accordance with the UFWA contract (United Fantasy Writers of America) I took a paid week off last week. Hope everyone survived.

• Josh Wolff has entered into the Eddie “Flash in the Pan” Johnson competition. Currently Davey Arnaud is in the lead.

• MLS Direct Kick is so good. Its hard to understand how good it is until switching cable providers rips it away.

• Conor Casey is apparently a controversial topic in fantasy circles. Last week the discussion would have been more interesting. This week it’s pretty clear. The spreadsheet says he is third overall behind Ralston (Ralston has only played 4 games at 25.25 per game) and Guevara. This week he is the top forward, and third in value at $13,838 per point. The spreadsheet wants him to be a starter, I think this guy earns a spot on the bench if nothing else.

• Continued congrats to “Celtic1888” 2nd in the universe overall and still top dog in the SBI League. “Team angler23” is 5th in the nation and within striking distance of Mr. Celtic. For the week the top SBI player was “Si Jun Zi Tang” 38th amongst all known sentient beings.

Team Picks

Take Three – Chicago. They won a game last week, play against New York this week and play two games next week. Sounds like a safe bet. Go ahead pick amongst McTraitor, the Great Diving Satan, a Geicko Caveman and lil’ Jon Busch. It will be good for the fantasy team, but festering death for the soul.

Take Three – Los Angeles. Face it Landon is on the roster already. LA is on the road playing a team without a home field advantage. Pick up one or two more Galaxians.

Avoid – San Jose. They picked up Cornell Glen. A team so bereft of talent they are reaching for this five time retread coming back from “rehabbing” an injury in Trinidad. Playing on the road, they travel to the sandlot to play against Houston. Because of the desperation player acquisition, they pass FC Dallas for this week’s craptacular spot.

Two Up, Two Down

Both Chad Marshall and Alejandro Moreno are falling down the spreadsheet loosing 32 and 41 places over the last four weeks.

Climbing up is Brad Davis gaining ten spots. Oddly, no other player has a consistent upswing in points. Its still early, give the stats some time to warm up.

Individual picks

Captain – Amado Guevara. Feast or Famine baby. Every week TFC is a surprise. Or maybe like a box of chocolates, where you can break one open and watch the gooey insides run out onto the floor, then throw away the lifeless shell and laugh because you didn’t like it anyway. Anyhow, he is expected to earn 23.11 points this week.

Value – Pontius/Nagamura. The two midfielders are separated by .2 points per game or $113 dollars per point. Look at the schedule, decide which match up is most advantageous and pick that guy. I am going with Pontius, but it’s a coin toss.

Overpriced – Ugo Ihemelu. This week he is 29th for points, and 121st overall. The guy costs $406,000! That’s $170,947 per point, holmes. Of the 28 defenders ahead of him, only four cost more.

Stop by next week when we discuss everything unique and good about Chicago.