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New York Red Bulls vs. Chivas USA: Match Night Commentary

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Call it the "Can't Win" Derby. The hapless New York Red Bulls are facing the ice cold Goats of Chivas USA in a match that only true die-hards could care about.

Want to know how bad things have been for the Red Bulls this season? During a pre-game ceremony tonight, a giant circular Red Bulls banner being used at midfield tore in half. It was one of the more fitting scenes you'll ever see at a soccer game.

I will be providing commentary from tonight's match because, well, because somebody has to. If you are watching (bless you) and feel free to follow along here. As always, share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below.

Enjoy the action (or at least try to).

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FINAL– Chivas USA 2, Red Bulls 0. It's 1999 all over again. I haven't agreed that this team was as bad as the '99 team until tonight. Dreadful showing and some new life for Chivas USA, which desperately needed a win tonight.

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90th minute– Chivas USA scores again. Eduardo Lillingston makes it 2-0 and that's a wrap for New York (again).

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87th minute– Still 1-0 Chivas USA, Red Bulls are pressing for an equalizer.

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83rd minute– Sorry for the delay, but some breaking news had to be posted. Denis Hamlett and Bakary Soumare were fined by the Chicago Fire for fighting each other in the Fire locker room last week during Chicago's 3-2 loss to Houston.

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71st minute– After 70 minutes, the Red Bulls still haven't tested Thornton with a quality shot on goal.

Petke with a yellow card.

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67th minute– WHOA is Wolyniec, pounces on a bad back-pass, catches Thornton off his line, but can't get a shot off before losing the ball. What a chance, wasted.

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62nd minute– Chivas USA switching to a 4-2-3-1, with Kljestan sitting behind Galindo. They're trying to project this lead.

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59th minute– Can the Red Bulls really score a goal here? Doesn't really look like it.

Michael Lahoud is set to come in. He replaces Chijindu.

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55th minute– Zimmerman tries one from distance. That's what the Red Bulls need to do, test Thornton with shots from distance. He doesn't look like he can move that well at all and any shot with some pace on it will give him trouble.

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54th minute– Petke catches a fist to the face, but no call is made. Chivas USA with a corner off the play, which is headed high.

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49th minute– There isn't a single Red Bulls players you can point to right now and say, "they're playing well." Not one.

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46th minute– And we're back.

Here are some drinking games:

Dane Richards turnovers

Zach Thornton footraces lost

Red Bulls defensive blunders

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HALFTIME– Just saw a Red Bulls fan wearing a paper bag over his head and a shirt that said "Dead Bulls" on the front. Classic.

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HALFTIME– Danleigh Borman is coming in for Carlos Johnson to start the second half. No word on why, but I'd imagine it's a fitness issue since Johnson is just coming back from a broken foot.

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HALFTIME– If you're sticking around for the second half of this you are either A) a family member of a player on one of these teams or B) in jail and have nothing better to do.

Seriously though, I'll come up with some second-half drinking games. Lord knows this game needs some.

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HALFTIME– Chivas USA 1, Red Bulls 0. On the bright side the Red Bulls did not allow a goal in the last five minutes (barely).

Chivas USA looked good in moments, passing the ball well, but it's tough to tell if its them playing well or the Red Bulls just not being able to keep up.

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45th minute– Referee Kevin Stott gives a diving card to Sacha Kljestan. Wow, that was close. Amazing how all the Red Bulls just fell asleep and started ball-watching. It's like they're trained to give up goals in the 45th minute+.

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40th minute– So a gimpy Thornton is limping around and I can't help but wonder how bad Jon Conway had to look in his trial that Chivas USA would rather have Thornton out there on one leg.

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40th minute– Richards with a turnover. Can't think of many players in MLS who have had their stock fall further than Richards'.

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38th minute– Not sure where the offensive punch will come from today for New York, but Zimmerman could help provide some energy to an otherwise lifeless bunch.

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35th minute– Zimmerman on for Celades, who is injured. Why in the world didn't ZImmerman start? Still trying to figure that one out.

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33rd minute– Richards beats Thornton to a ball in the corner but instead of laying it off to a teammate he tries a shot and misses.

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32nd minute– Richards misses WIDE by inches. So close, yet so far.

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27th minute– For those wondering, Macoumba Kandji is STILL out with a hamstring injury. Mighty long time to be out with what wasn't a tear.

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23rd minute– Not much life being shown by this bunch. With Chivas USA knowing it needs a win to keep its playoff position in the West, the visitors have much more to play for.

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20th minute– Coundoul with a nice save on a Marsch shot. Chivas USA looks good tonight, but who doesn't against the Red Bulls?

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16th minute– Chijindu with the cross from the right flank that catches Galindo on the run. He beats Coundoul with a blast from about eight yards out.

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14th minute- GOAL CHIVAS USA!!! Maykel Galindo with the great finish. Chivas USA 1, Red Bulls 0.

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13th minute– Wolyniec misses wide by inches with a header.

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12th minute– Have to say that seeing Jonathan Bornstein play centerback is interesting to say the least.

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10th minute– Zach Thornton isn't taking kicks tonight as he is still nursing a quad injury that sidelined him recently.

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8th minute- No Juan Pablo Angel tonight. he's still dealing with the concussion he sustained in CONCACAF Champions League action. 

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3rd minute– Here's the Red Bulls lineup:

————————–Wolyniec————————

Oebster—————–Celades—————Richards

—————–Stammler———Sassano————–

Hall———-Goldthwaite——Petke——–Johnson

————————-Coundoul————————-

 

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1st Minute– And we're off.

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PRE-GAME– You know things are bad for the Red Bulls when the Empire Supporter's Club, the team's oldest supporter's group, isn't here in numbers. To be fair, many of them made the trip to Mexico City.

Comments

  2. Losing by two goals, at home, to a team decimated by injuries and suspensions. Perhaps the closest thing to a victory Red Bull had hope for the remainder of the season. And …

    Reply

  4. Hopefully they can turn it around in the new stadium next season. If they stink this bad next year RBA will be a ghost town. What’s more terrible is the fact they were in the MLS Cup last season. They could have been mediocre and I would have understood (team’s seesaw all the time in MLS) but this? They’re just flat out awful. They should simply forfeit the rest of the games for this season. The team isn’t playing anyhow. Seems like 1 or 2 guys showing up to try and the rest look like my pub team on a Sunday kickabout

    Reply

  6. These players may not constitute a top MLS side, but no way they’re as bad as the results (or lack thereof) they’re putting up every week. Osorio has lost this team–is ANYBODY in Austria paying attention?

    Reply

  9. This team makes me sick.

    Don’t worry though. I am putting together a group to buy the team, rename it the Cosmos, sign some big names under the table,get some headlines & win some trophies.

    This team is a disgrace. The coach ia an idiot.

    The only player I like is that Woly paesan. He reminds me of my dog, Garabaldi, with those big floppy ears, running all over the place. He’s not any good of course, but he does make Giorgio laugh after I’ve had a few cocktails.

    I must now to to the discotechque to meet my lady friends.

    Ciao.

    Reply

  10. WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER
    WE DESERVE BETTER

    Reply

  14. Awful, I can’t believe I even stayed for the second goal. Inked, compared to this team 1999 was a glorious success.

    It’s horribly sad when only three players (Woly, Stammler, Dane-O) put out effort. Even though Richards and Stammler were both awful, those were the only three players who managed to look like they actually care.

    Reply

  16. “If the MLS had relegation, the redbulls would be in the WPS next season.”

    No, I’m pretty sure the ladies could rough them up, too.

    I think there’s a local team of seven-year-olds they could compete against…

    Reply

  20. Well… What now?

    JCO will apologize to the fans, Petke will complain, no one else from the team will react…

    I guess this is what’s left of our season?

    Reply

  29. Odds on RBA being full for the opener next season?

    It seems every time we turn around, they’re trying to sell tickets for next year.

    Reply

  33. Props to you Ives for making it out to this game. In all fairness, this team doesn’t deserve to have you take the time to do a running commentary. They’re that terrible. I don’t think Sacha dove, I think he earned the card for picking up the ball after the tackle.

    Any rumors in the press box about Osorio? Why hasn’t he been fired? Any whispers about the energy drink selling?

    Reply

  35. Zimmerman didn’t start because Celades’ poor passing was vital to maintaining the terrible standard of play RB has been striving for all season long.

    Reply

  40. Maybe some team can pry Oebster away from New York. I like what I’ve seen from him so far and think he might deserve a team that can win.

    Reply

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