By CASEY CANNON

Hello and Welcome to the Soccer by Ives Fantasy Corner – now with Germ killing bubbles!  Every week I dig through statistics, news, and rumors to provide the reader with the kind of fantasy advice that only a guy tired of changing diapers can provide.  I write this Monday Tuesday Wednesday night before the official injury reports come out, so don’t be grumpy if I tell you to pick a hurt player.  For information on MLS Fantasy Football go to http://fantasy.mlsnet.com/.

Last week went fairly well.  My team picks went 2/3 as Houston played well as predicited, and Columbus stank as predicted.  San Jose played like an expansion team, which somehow surprised me.  On the individual side, Onstad was the man in net brining in a ton of points, and the DC United Defender I have never heard of was still horribly overpriced (Gonzalo Martinez),  But value Pick Huckerby was worthless.  That puts me at 4/6 for the week. 

This is the last week to catch that one guy in front. Read below, take my advice and best of luck to all.

Team Picks

Take Three – Columbus Crew.  But DC United will be playing desperately to get into they playoffs my reader says.  Columbus has nothing to play for, DC should will this walking away.  Except Columbus is rested after skipping the New York game, gearing up for the playoffs and, playing at home in front of a home crowd celebrating the Supporters Shield.  Finally, Columbus is the better team.  DC is inconsistent and undisciplined. I expect to see at least one red card in this game.   Biased?  Maybe.  But I’m right.

Take Three – LA Galaxy.   Two teams playing for pride.  Since there is no pressure Landon should have a good game.   Dallas has two suspended players leaving even more space for the LA offence to attack.  Just don’t take any LA Goalies of Defenders, they get beaten more than the drums at an Rush concert.

Avoid – Houston. They are playing well, I just don’t want to guess which players will get into a meaningless game on the road.  Course I came into the week with three trades and four Houston players on the roster. 

Two Up, Two Down

Kansas City is actually looking like a playoff team this at the end of the season and Claudio Lopez may be one reason why.  His fantasy production is up .84 points over the past month. While in Chicago after being dormant for so long, Cuauhtemoc Blanco is up 1.6 points per game from five weeks ago.  Yes, some of that has been from the penalty spot, but the fantasy spreadsheet doesn’t care. 

New England is in trouble without Ralston and as far as fantasy goes two of their players are falling down the spreadsheet. Chris Albright the defender is down half a point per game over the past month while Abdoulie Mansally (good ol’ copy and paste) is down .6 points per game over the past month.  If I had these two on my team today, I would think about trading them before it is too late.

Individual picks

Keeper – Will Hesmer.  Top of the spreadsheet, at home against a team that is wildly inconsistent.  Speaking on inconsistent, Busch of Chicago would be a good choice, if only I could ignore their last few weeks.

Value – Landon Donovan.  The league goal leader is only 184,000.  No pressure means that Landon is much less likely to choke.  Landon wins the golden boot in his last MLS game before going back to Europe.  Although I bet he is in San Jose before 2009 is out. 

Overpriced – Ramiro Corrales.  Defenders can be overpriced, but this guy from San Jose is painfully so.  $412,000 for an average of one point a game?  Just take a random non-playing defender for the $175,000 minimum and use the left over money to buy an expensive midfilder. 

End of Season Might as Well Take a Risk Pick – Edson Buddle.  This is the guy who will clean up any rebounds from Landons shots. Just call him Minnie the Moocher.  Edson had a dream about the king of feedin, gave him what he was needin, Easy balls in front of the net, a hat trick is a reasonable bet. 

Tune in next year, when I teach the five-year old to populate the spreadsheet and the baby to proof read my writing.