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You Write the Caption: Best of the Ronaldo Entries

10. To decrease his vulnerability to another knee injury, Ronaldo had surgeons attach a third leg. (JOHN)

9. "Just preparing for those laxatives to kick in…I ‘ll teach them for calling me fat" (Andy in Atlanta)

8. "So you’re telling me this is all I have to do in that MLS to get $4 million a year?" (Ed)

7. The Abel Xavier Award for least mobile footballer trophy: Less prestigious than the Balon D’Or but much, much easier on the prostate. (Dallen)

6. ‘Ronaldo takes a break from practice by sitting on Abel Xavier.’ (SBI)

5. Asshat. (Ivanov)

4. With the global financial crisis reaching its boiling point, even Ronaldo reluctantly lent a helping hand by manually drilling for oil with his heiny. (rednew.red4ever)

3. Fat, cold, lonely, constipated and despondent…until Alexi Lalas gets a new GM gig. (sidenetting)

2. The cones later demanded money to keep quiet. (Dave)

1. Peter Crouch and Ronaldo ponder what’s left of their careers. (Pablo Chicago)

Now it’s your turn to pick the best caption from the top six entries:

The caption that receives the most votes will be crowned the winner (I am working on a prize for this contest as we speak.)

Share your thoughts on this You Write the Caption contest in the comments section below.


  1. LOL, i didn’t get the crouch joke until just now. I was trying to figure out–what the heck does a cone have to do with Peter. Then I looked at the photo again. I DID bust out laughing!

    Oh, and I was ignorant of the Xavier and cone thing, too. Geesh, I thought I was a sharp soccer guy . . . even just a sharp guy. Must have worked too much as a kid (you know, “all work and”)

  2. everyone’s expecting a comment about the cone, but the peter crouch caption caught me off guard and made me spit up this morning’s coffee. Good one Pablo!

  3. Thanks Ives and thanks for the props hpugs & smokeminside.

    I saw the pole and couldn’t resist.

    Some of the other captions are pretty funny. Dave’s made me laugh.

  4. In the interest of keeping the peace within the thread, and helping everyone feel good about themselves, ALL the caption nominations are sidesplitters.

  5. “‘Ronaldo takes a break from practice by sitting on Abel Xavier. NOT FUNYY AND I DONT GET IT”

    It means that Abel Xavier was completely immobile while playing for the Galaxy, or in a commonly used sports term, he played like a cone. That forward went right past him like he was a cone. that defender is like a cone out there, the other team goes right around him.

    And you can’t say it’s not funny if you don’t get it; that’s just illogical.

  6. Not to be a hater, or anything, but none of those even made me bend my lips, let alone smile, or even laugh. At least mine was creative, referencing Apocalypse Now and the depths to which a footballer would have to sink to play for a Vietnamese club …

  7. With his career in the crapper, Ronaldo figured the responsible thing was at least use it to fertilize Mother Earth.

    Okay, that needs work.

  8. OOPS, sorry, kpugs….didn’t see the photo the first time, saw it today and plunged right in w/o reading “below” as Ives says….

    Pablo’s rocks.


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